Change
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Sara is distracted and makes a mistake that costs her happiness. When another man enters the picture that's when the real test begins.


Grissom came closer looking at my lips as I stood still watching him. We had been talking outside of a diner after eating with the others. They left Grissom and I. We were talking about work when we came up to this moment. I opened my mouth breathing out as his soft lips hit mine.

"Sara?"

I blinked looking over at Grissom looking at me at a stop light. I moved up in my seat looking around.

"Yeah?"

"We are almost there."

"Okay." I said, avoiding his eyes on me. I shook the dream from my mind concentrating on the task at hand.

Later I stood in the lounge stirring my coffee thinking about the dream. Grissom walked over looking at me.

"Sara, I need you." He said, causing me to jump making some of my coffee spill. I looked at him as he looked down at the floor at the spilled coffee then at me.

"Sorry." I said

"I need your help."

I nodded shaking my head as I threw my cup in the trash then I followed him. He snapped on some gloves as we started working in the garage processing a car. I knelt down at the other side back seat grabbing the luminal as Grissom knelt down across from me. He sprayed as I did glancing at me. I looked at the seat as the luminal lit up showing the blood.

"This must have been where the body was." I said

"Yeah." He said

I took a picture then I looked down on the floor. He glanced at me again clearing his throat.

"Sara, you have been distracted. Is everything all right?"

"Yes." I said, glancing at him.

"You have some vacation time built up."

"I know."

"Why don't you take it?"

"I'm fine."

"I never said you weren't."

I sighed not saying anything more.

A few weeks later Grissom and I were standing close to one another. I stood against a bloody sheet that was hanging up. I had just shown Grissom about the victim being pinned to the bed. He searched my eyes and my heart started thumping. His breath hit my face. I looked at his lips then at his eyes. He seemed content to just stand there staring at me. On an impulse I leaned in kissing his lips gently then pulled back. His stare turned into a confused one and I knew I had made a mistake. He moved back dropping his arms from my sides.

"I have to go." He said, escaping quickly. I looked down kicking myself for doing that. Grissom avoided me for weeks and when I did see him he would look away.

Beer seemed to be a comfort to me when I came home or before coming to work. No one realized that I was on a path to destruction. One night Grissom walked around going to the lounge seeing Nick eating an apple sitting at the round table.

"Nick, have you seen…Sara?"

"Yeah, she said something about taking in the air outside."

Grissom sighed knowing that he could not avoid me anymore. Brass had alerted him that I was not acting right and it worried him. He walked outside looking around the parking lot not seeing me. He then walked over looking to the side of the building. He saw me sitting against the building wall drinking from a can. He walked over slowly watching as I saw him.

"Sara?" He said, I froze as he walked over. "What are you doing out here?"

"I…I was…just sitting." I said, standing hearing the can I had fall to the ground. Grissom watched the contents spill out and the aroma of beer made him grimace.

He picked up the can sniffing it then he looked at me. I looked down knowing that whatever was coming was not going to be pleasant.

"I could fire you right now."

"I know."

"You know never to bring any alcohol to a job."

"I know."

"Sara look at me." He ordered

I lifted my head looking at him.

"I will not tolerate this! You are suspended for four weeks and I do not want to see you. You will see a counselor."

I sighed looking down again.

"Go home!" He said, before walking away.

I went home feeling depressed. I laid on my couch watching TV and I must have fallen asleep because I woke to knocking at the door. Getting up I felt my head pounding as I stood going to the door seeing Grissom on the other side. He looked at me seeing I was pale and sick looking.

"Come to yell at me again?" I asked

"No, I just came to talk."

"I really am not in the mood." I said

"I won't be long."

I sighed letting him come inside. I shut the door turning slowly to look at him.

"Yes?" I asked

"Can we sit and talk?" He asked

I walked past him into my living room sitting in a chair looking down at my hands. He sat on the couch looking at me.

"You said you wanted to talk." I said

"Yes I did. I want to know what is happening to you."

"Nothing is." I said

"Then why are you drinking?"

"I..don't know."

"That is not an answer."

I stood walking over to my desk.

"Sara, I am trying to understand." He said, standing.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said, going to my bedroom shutting the door.

Four weeks later I sat in the locker room staring at nothing. Grissom came in and I stood leaving. I joined the others in the lounge waiting for our assignments. Grissom came in and spoke to everyone. I just sat in the back tuning everything out.

"Sara." Grissom said. I stood looking at him. "Your with me."

"Ah, I am actually not feeling well." I said

"I need you on this with me." He said

I sighed walking over joining him. We drove down the street stopping at a light. Grissom looked at me as I looked out.

"Could you stop staring at me?" I asked

He looked ahead.

"Are you seeing the counselor?"

"Yes."

"Any progress?"

"I guess."

We drove on out of town. It started to rain heavily. Grissom stopped looked ahead.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"Looks like a mudslide ahead."

I looked faintly seeing water coming down from a hillside with mud. Grissom looked over seeing something.

"Look out!" He shouted, getting his seat belt off jumping over to me. A loud thud made the roof cave in.

I woke feeling my head throb. I was warm with a weight on me. I could feel someone breathing slowly against my neck. There was nothing but the sound of rain. The air was chilly. I tried to move but I couldn't.

"Mmm." Grissom moaned moving his head.

"Grissom?"

"Sara?" He said, slowly opening his eyes. "Are you all right?"

"I think so except my head hurts."

"Mine to." He said, trying to move. His hand went into his pocket pulling out his cell phone. I watched it light up his face seeing a cut on his temple.

"You have a cut." I said

"I know."

"Could be a concussion."

"Might be." He said, dialing a number. He put the phone to his ear then he sighed.

"No coverage?"

"No." He said "Sara, we need to get out of here."

"How?"

He looked around trying to move. I felt him sigh.

"I can't move." He said

"We'll have to wait for help." I said

He blinked looking at me with his cell phone shining on our faces. His hand smoothed my hair from my forehead so he could see the cut oozing blood.

"I hope they come soon." He said

I lost all track of time as he tried to get free. He stopped moving breathing in and out fast.

"What if we die?" I asked

"We are not going to die, Sara."

"You don't know that."

"Listen to me we are not going to die." He said, looking me in the eyes.

I nodded knowing he could tell I didn't believe him. Grissom laid his head down against my shoulder. I knew he was not asleep. We listened to the noises outside.

"Grissom?"

He lifted his head looking at me.

"Are you all right?" He asked

"Yeah, but I need to talk."

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" He asked

I could tell he was anxious.

"Your heart is racing." I said

"Given the situation…"

"It was calm before and it started racing when I said I wanted to talk."

"Sara, I am not good at…talking."

"Why did you look at me that day when we talked about the bloody sheet?"

"Sara…"

"Grissom, do you like me at all?"

He looked at me in shock. I knew I was overstepping the boundary.

"Please tell me."

"No."

I blinked back tears that threatened to come out. Grissom looked away from me.

"Well that didn't hurt did it?"

"I didn't want to be that blunt."

"I suppose I asked for it." I said

I laid my head back looking to the side. A car stopped and we both heard doors open and shut. Grissom looked over seeing a flashlight shining through the window. We got out taken to the hospital and checked out. I walked into my place sore and tired. My doorbell rang as I laid in bed. I got up walking over to the door opening it seeing Grissom.

"Can I come in?" He asked

I opened the door allowing him in. He faced me as I shut the door looking at the bandage on his head.

"I thought they wanted to keep you?" I said

"I was able to get out."

I nodded looking down then at him. He continued to stare at me. I sighed and walked by but he grabbed me pulling me across the room to stand against a wall. I looked at him feeling my heart pound. Grissom moved my arms up. I let him move my arms feeling his hands caressing my arms.

He opened his mouth letting air out of his mouth. I watched him come closer.

"Grissom what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I am doing?" He asked

"You…said no."

"I know what I said Sara. I realized that the reason I was saying no was because I was scared of change. I thought that what we had was good, but it's not."

"You don't have to do this."

"I want to, because if I don't I could lose you."

"Grissom." I said, moving out of his grasp. He turned watched me face him. "I thought about it to and I really think your right. I have been in denial and torturing myself over this and that is wrong. I should be able to let go and accept that we are only meant to be friends and coworkers."

"I see."

"You don't have to worry about losing me." I said, coming over to him. I felt my heart grow heavier and didn't expect him to believe the lie I just gave, but as he pulled me into a hug I knew everything was going to be okay.

The next month a man walked into the building in a dark suit. He looked around seeing people walking around then he looked over at Judy our front desk receptionist.

"I am looking for Gil Grissom?"

"Who may I say is asking?"

"Tell him William Preston."

Judy phoned as he took a seat in a chair. I came in holding bags seeing him. A bag fell at his feet and he picked it up giving it back to me.

"Thank you." I said

"No problem." He said, smiling. I walked past looking back at him.

Grissom came out seeing William stand up walking over to shake his hand.

"When did you get in?" Grissom asked

"Last night."

"It's good to see you." Grissom said, leading him in the hallway.

I came out of the lounge seeing Grissom walking around with the man I saw earlier.

"Sara, this is a student of mine, William Preston." Grissom said

"Was a student, now I am head of forensics in Washington DC." He said, shaking my hand.

"Sara Sidle." I said

"What do you do Sara?"

"I am a CSI."

"Oh, you're the Sara Sidle that Grissom told me about."

"All good I hope." I asked

"He said you are the best CSI on his team. I might have to steal you."

I smiled looking over at Grissom who eyed us with curiosity.

"Would you like to have drinks with me?" He asked

"Oh, well I am working, but I have tomorrow off."

"Great, let's say seven at that place on the strip called Rational."

"Okay."

He smiled walking with Grissom.

William and I met at Rational sitting at a table drinking.

"Grissom didn't do you justice." He said "He said you were pretty, but he didn't say beautiful."

"He wouldn't."

He set his glass down sitting back in his chair.

"So…what is the story there?"

"Nothing to tell. He and I are not involved."

"I could have sworn by the way he looked at you last night that you two were together."

"No."

He smiled reaching over touching my hand.

"That's good news. What would it take for you to come to Washington and work with me?"

"Nothing really." I said, leaning against the table touching his hand smiling.

"Good." He said

A few days later I walked into Grissom's office laying a paper in front of him. He took it reading what it was.

"This is a form of transfer." He said

"Yes." I said "I want to go to Washington DC."

"Sara,….we need you here." He said, sitting back.

"Will needs me more."

"Will…are you going out with him?"

"He wants me to join his team and I want to."

"You can't be serious." He said

"Would you sign it?" I asked

He looked at the form again then at me.

"Look this can't mean anything to you whether I leave or not." I said "In fact I think it would be better if I left."

"Better for whom?" He asked

"Better for both of us."

"What if it's not better?"

"Grissom, either you sign it or I quit." I said, leaving. I was leaving when Grissom blocked my path in front of my car.

"I signed the form." He said

"Thank's." I said, looking down.

"I just want you to be happy, you deserve it." He said, before walking away.

Will and I walked to my door the next week after a dinner. I was headed to Washington the day after. He gave me my keys after unlocking the door to my apartment.

"Are you going to miss this place?" He asked

"Yes, but I am excited about where I am going."

"Me to." He said "Well goodnight."

I nodded watching him come forward kissing me. I kissed him feeling his arms come around me. It felt wonderful having a man care about me, but something was missing.

The next day I worked my last shift then after the others gave me a party in the lounge. Grissom never came to join. I hugged everyone then I walked over to Grissom's office seeing him working at his desk.

"Hey." He said

"I am leaving." I said

"Oh." He said, standing. I looked down avoiding his stare "Well I hope you are happy there."

"Thank's." I said, looking at him. "Well…I suppose I should go."

He watched me turn leaving.

"Sara!"

I came back in watching him walk over to me.

"Let us know how you are doing."

"I will." I said, disappointed. He watched me leave sadly.

Grissom woke to pounding on his front door. He could hear the rain outside as thunder crashed. He got up going to the door opening it seeing that I was soaked breathing fast.

"Sara?" He said, looking at me up and down.

"Hey." I said

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to ask you something."

"Come in." He said

I came in dripping he walked to his bedroom coming out with a large towel. I shivered as he wiped my face and hair then he wrapped it around me.

"You need to get into something warm then we can talk."

I was led into his bedroom where he gave me some of his clothes. Then he disappeared to make some hot chocolate. I came out in one of his sweat suits. He stood at the couch watching me come over sitting down.

"Here this will warm you up." He said, handing me a steaming mug.

"Thank's." I said, drinking some.

"Sara, aren't you supposed to be on a plane?"

I set the cup down on the coffee table.

"I couldn't get on."

"Why not?"

"Do you want to have dinner with me?" I asked, looking at him.

"Dinner?"

"Yes, you know dinner. It's where…"

"I know what dinner is. What about Will?"

"Grissom, sometimes you have to make choices that affect your future. I thought running away from here was what I wanted. Then when I kissed Will it didn't make me happy. You make me happy."

He stared at me as if frozen. I looked at him slowly moved closer tilting my head kissing him. He didn't move as I moved back looking at him.

"Will you have dinner with me?"

"Does this mean you are staying?"

"I can't leave you."

He searched my eyes coming closer this time kissing me. His hand went to my cheek and neck as he pulled me closer. I moved back looking at him.

"I would love to have dinner with you." He said

I smiled watching him come closer kissing me.


End file.
